Square Eyes

red eye

puh-leeeze.

formulaic, slow-witted and predictable to a depressing degree.  wes craven is capable of mot sucking, but he doesn't seem interested in not sucking. 

it's not the worst soundtrack for your popcorn out there, but you should really see something else.  then when you finally watch it on Starz a year from now it will still be fresh.

march of the penguins

i've been away from this for a while.  you must have heard the universal raves about this film before now.  if you haven't seen it, and you have even the meanest flintiest heart left beating in your chest, go.

antarctica. giant flightless birds in formal attire. survival drama.  come on.  who are you kidding, tough guy?  go see it.

murderball

this one is going to get nominated for best documentary - and it's probably going to lose to the penguins.  this will not be fair.

the penguin movie is spectacular, but in a way, easy. murderball is hard.

murderball is a movie about hard lives, hard choices and learning to really see the things that tempt you to  look away.  watching guys in wheelchairs barreling into each other rugby style is hard at first. By the end of the film it's exhilarating.  You will not be unmoved.

it's also funny, and bawdy, and uplifting too.  highly recommended.

the constant gardener

i know that there are people referring to this as a john le carre film, or a ralph fiennes film. i am going to consider it a fernando meirelles film.

fernando directed "city of god" - for my money as beautifully shot and epic a film as i've seen in the 21st century.  although there are solid performances throughout, it's fernando's eye that defines this picture.

as a thriller, it's passable.  as a collection of acting performances it's good.  as a visual spectacle, it's stunning.  i don't normally suggest that people see movies based entirely on how they look, but it's worth seeing this one for that reason alone.

the 40 year old virgin

the trailers for this movie are awful.  the film itself is borderline sublime.

steve carrel is as wonderful as you'd expect him to be (so great i forgive him for abandoning the Daily Show) andthe supporting cast is mostly funnier than i had any reason to expect.  this movie is so funny that i found myself laughing at Paul Rudd.

the premise is thin enough that the title pretty much explains it, but this is a movie about execution, not premise.  It doesn't throw as many jokes around as a will ferrel-type comedy, but so many more of the punches land that you won't notice.

Mad Hot Ballroom

This movie is the cinematic equivalent of a basket of puppies.  It's impossible to shoot a movie about 5th graders learning ballroom dancing and not end up with a cute, compelling and appealing movie.

The kids are great - you see the physical confidence they're gaining, the characters being forged by competition, the mastering of the fear of cooties.  The teachers are interesting and inspiring.

The only beef I reall have here is that there isn't much about the aftermath of the competition.  But that's small complaint indeed.  If you liked "Spellbound," go see this film.  If you didn't see "Spellbound," see them both.

Revenge of the Sith

You already knew it was gonna suck, so I'll be brief.  If you can convince the projectionist to run it with the sound off, it's a compelling film.  If he won't.. stick something large in your ears.

Seriously, the talking ruins everything.  The Lucas genius for coaxing wooden performances out of good actors remains in full effect.  No amount of VFX shots can cover for the terrible things he makes the actors say and the awful way he lets them say these things.

The ruining of my favorite childhood movie franchise is now complete.  Kudos, George.

high tension

I saw this at a preview screening and at least ten people walked out.  If you're not a fan of severed limbs and high-Fangoria nonsense, you probably will too.

In the 70's slasher/I Spit On Your Grave tradition, the violence is heavy and frequent, brutalizing its audience as much as the characters.  What it lacks in terms of making a success of that formula is catharsis.  The movie is cruel without being redemptive - it makes you gasp without allowing you to exhale.  The climax resolves nothing.

As if that weren't enough, the movie is mostly dubbed. Dubbed movies almsot universally suck. 

I recommend it to just about no one.

Also:

<Spoiler alert>The plot twist at the end is freaking stupid.</Spoiler alert>

batman begins

I can't say that I went into this with high expectations.  So much evil has been done in the name of Batman lately - is it so much to ask to have Schumacher deported?

I must report that this movie won me over.  Director Chris Nolan (Memento) gives us a darker, angrier Knight than the movies in this franchise have dared, and the gambit results in a layered and satisfying superhero origin story. 

The greatest part of this movie is given over to the subtle shadings between vigilante and hero, between revenge and justice, and that is as it should be.

My only major gripes are that the kid who plays baby Bruce Wayne kind of sucks ( i forgive him, because he's like eight or something) and Katie Holmes also sucks (i don't forgive her, especially in light of her most recent public antics.

Even if you're not a fanboi, this is a comic movie worth seeing.

Meet the Fockers

If you need to know more about this than the title provides, you're beyond my help.

Less funny than the first one, but if you like seeing Ben stiller act uncomfortable and Deniro slumming as a sneaky dumbass you'll be glad to know all that is still in here. There is also one of those creepy babies that are supposed to be smart too - kind of like "Look Who's Talking." There are cats fighting dogs.

I can't even remember what made me bother - I think I was hoping to wait out the rain. I should have just gotten wet.